Erica E. Goode says, “Sibling relationships outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness, warmth loyalty and distrust. Linda Sunshine comments on sister-sister relationship that, “If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.” Pam Brown adds, “Sisters annoy, interfere, criticize. Indulge in monumental sulks, in huffs, in snide remarks. Borrow. Break. Monopolize the bathroom. Are always underfoot. But if catastrophe should strike, sisters are there. Defending you against all comers.”
Siblings have a life made meshing of heart, soul and memory. You can fool the world but not your sibling brother or sister. Chris Montaigne points out, “A sister smiles when one tells one's stories - for she knows where the decoration has been added.” Trouble part is that brother or sister never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. Even if you have the biggest smile on your face, like mother - a brother or sister would always know that there is something wrong. A sibling witnesses your life. If you are grown up in a family of brothers and sister then life minus your sibling is impossible to imagine.
Having sibling is like having a dependable boatman in a rocking boat. Shocking waves may threaten to rock your life-boat, time and again, but you are confident your sibling will, without doubt remedy the situation.
Hindu festival of Raksha-bandhan or Rakhi celebrates love of siblings. When brothers and sisters don't get along, it's called sibling rivalry. A sibling is a brother or sister and rivalry means competition. It's normal, but too much competition can make for an unhappy home life. Let's talk about getting along with brothers and sisters. They're not so bad, are they?
Most children, everywhere in the world grow up with brothers and sisters. A sibling connection lasts lifetime and also for generations. However, these relationships can be strained at times, especially in childhood. Sibling relationship is the longest relationship most people will have in their lives. Siblings actually spend more time with each other, more so than with their parents. Many times siblings have knowingly or unknowingly shaped each other lives, significantly.
In a house with more than one kid, there are bound to be some problems. Brothers and sisters borrow stuff, and don't always return it in top condition. Younger kids sometimes feel like the older kids get to do whatever they want. Older brothers and sisters think that the baby of the family gets more attention. These are typical problems found throughout the ages, everywhere in the world. But as the young age passes by, there’s no more room for competition, no jealously. Siblings become closer. There is no more ‘tera-mera’, it's all ‘Hamara!’. Even if due to work reasons, siblings live separately or at distance, they try and connect with each other in all possible ways, not withstanding the distance involved.
You know that no matter how much you fight, you are going to see that person next morning on the breakfast table. Sibling spats help children learn what they think is right, to negotiate, to compromise, to tolerate negative emotions that crop up in life. What causes Sibling Rivalry? In childhood, as young ones lack social skills to work things out. Further, they are also naturally self-centered, so they don’t empathize with a brother or sister when they want something
They simply don’t know how to negotiate. Sometimes siblings fight for a piece of mom or dad. Each child wants to be mom’s or dad’s favorite, so they tattle and try to get the other child in trouble.
As parents, to help your kids get along better, get the basics clear. Don’t play favorites and do not compare children to one another. For example, don't say things like, “Your brother gets good grades in math—why can't you?" Let each child be who they are. Enjoy each of your children’s individual talents and successes. Parents should show that they value each family member’s contributions then it can decrease sibling rivalry. It encourages siblings to respect each others individuality. Children should have some time to themselves, apart from their brothers and sisters. This will be like a recharge time. This sibling rivalry solution is good for a child’s emotional development, and for the whole family. Your child does not have to depend on constant feedback mechanism. A time for himself will develop real self-confidence.
If you have older children, call a family meeting every once in a while. A family meeting is a meeting for all family members to work together to make family decisions. Parents, children, and any others who live in the home and have a stake in decisions affecting the daily life of the family should take part. Choose a time that works for everyone.
Agenda for ‘Family Meeting’ could be discussion on family issues, concerns, interests, and positive events of past week. Clarify the issues, discuss and generate possible solutions. Make plan to implement solution. In family meeting, it is important that Everyone gets a chance to talk. When one person talks, he/she should not get interrupted. It should be okay to say what you feel and everyone has to listen. No one puts anyone else down.
Sibling relationship may be compared with friends but unlike a friend, a sibling has a no-condition love to you and the fact that he or she is your sibling never changes.
Sibling therefore, is your “Forever Friend”!